On Feeling Lost (And Found)

How I Found Life Coaching & Why I Do What I Do

I know what it’s like to have a life that looks good on the outside, meanwhile, your inner self is in pain, and she feels like she’s dying inside a little more each day.

I held a six-figure corporate job with good benefits, lived in a nice neighborhood with good schools for my daughter, our home had a backyard for the dog, and we had a view of the ocean from the second floor – I was successful. What’s more, I had pulled myself up by my bootstraps so to say.

Just 9 years earlier, I had dug deep within myself and had found the strength to leave my first marriage, which I knew was toxic, and I had gone out into the world to make my way with a toddler on my hip and $16 in my bank account. I went on to graduate college, land a job, earn multiple promotions, own my own home, and generally kick ass at single mom life. (Sidenote – There are a shit-ton of hard lessons and the stories behind them from this period in my life, but I will share those on another day.)

Fast forward through the bootstrapping part and here I was – successful in every way on the outside – I was even remarried. But inside, I was miserable.

My relationship to my husband was dead cold. I missed him but he was dealing with his own hurts and was not available. I longed for a connection of any kind between us – we hadn’t had sex in so long I couldn’t even remember, hell, we barely even touched while passing in the hallway. The support that I once had in him was gone, and I was on my own.

I was unfulfilled at work. Despite having amazing co-workers, many of whom I am still good friends with to this day, I could not find the connection between my daily work and helping others that I wanted so badly. I was longing for a deeper purpose, to feel like the work I did in the world mattered beyond just paying the bills.

I did have one thing that gave me purpose though – my daughter. I love my daughter deeply, being her mom has always been the one constant that fills me up – she was and is the light of my world. And – I also needed something for myself that lit me up outside of motherhood. I just knew there had to be something more out there – I felt a pull to seek it out – and I wanted to be an example to my daughter of how to follow your dreams and live an authentic life. I believe strongly that it is my duty to show her how to live fully – and I felt like I was failing at that.

My second husband and I had been to hell and back in the few short years we had been together. In 3 years of marriage and 5 years of our relationship, we had faced: both of us getting laid off from our jobs (at the same time), being underwater in homeownership, moving across the country, a custody battle with my ex, a major health crisis including major surgery, the death of our family dog, and then, the worst part – both of my husband’s parents suffering and dying from cancer at the same time. They passed away only three weeks apart. It was terrible. The stress of it all took a toll on our marriage that we would never recover from – we would get divorced a few years later. (Yes, that would be my second divorce if you’re counting.)

So, there I was, a loving mom, struggling to find herself, and I was also still reeling in the recent aftermath of the deaths of both of my in-laws – and it left me questioning everything. But after thinking long and hard about it I realized that they gave me a parting gift – the gift of looking at my life from the perspective of what legacy I would leave behind. I started to ask myself, what was I creating in the world that would be here even after I was gone?

I ended up resigning from my corporate job and made a plan that I called A Total Life Reset. I went on a journey to find fulfillment in my work and to build an intentional legacy. It led me down many paths, including becoming a horse mom to two goofball Thoroughbred geldings, co-founding a nonprofit, becoming a Professional Certified Life Coach, and starting my own business.

I now have a successful business helping women to achieve their ‘impossible’ goals. As it turned out, I wasn’t the only woman who was seeking a sense of purpose and fulfillment in my life and work. And, with my background as a US Marine, turned IT Project Manager, turned Entrepreneur and Life Coach – I realized that I was uniquely prepared and positioned to help women who are in career fields that are traditionally dominated by men – especially female military veterans and women in technology. So, my niche came naturally, and all that time I spent in the military and technology fields feeling disconnected and out of place came full circle – because it turns out that I was preparing to build a business where the ability to connect with women in those career fields is the exact thing that would provide an opportunity to create an infinite amount of impact on the world – by connecting with, and coaching, one women at a time.

I coach them on how to gain clarity of purpose, make decisions with certainty, develop a deep belief in themselves, kick start their personal and professional dreams, and achieve their ‘impossible’ goals. Essentially, all the things that I learned myself and that I am still working on every day.

I now feel solidly grounded in my purpose – and I get to help others do the same. I am Jessica Lindsey, founder, CEO, and Life Coach at Jessica Lindsey Coaching and I specialize in Life, Career, and Confidence Coaching for High Achieving Women.

I want to tell you have that if you too have that nagging feeling inside that there is more out there for you – if there is something inside of you that’s desiring a change in your life or in your career – know that you can do this! You can pursue what you love, achieve your wildest goals, and along the way become the truest most authentic version of yourself yet. Whatever the next step is for you – know that you are more than capable, that I believe in you, and that I’m right here rooting for your success!

Cheers,

Coach Jess

mother and daughter with two horses and dog

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